reflections on exam.

Bismillah, entry pjg, ditulis inshaAllah, sekadar perkongsian, dan peringatan utk diri sendiri.
Btw, Jumaah mubarak, everyone. Jom baca Al-Kahf.

Pre-exam mode:
Semua stressed out sampai tk lalu makan.
Ada juga yg makan overdose.
Menangis sbb pk menyesal apesal tk study dr awal sem,
bila study week jadi study weak
that you hafta cram the whole vast stuffs of the entire semester
in that weak.
Emosi bercelaru.
Buat benda pun tk betul
Darn.
Ya Allah, guide me the steps, don't let me go astray because of this.

Solution:
Igt lah Allah, hati pun tenang. [ar-raad:28]
Igt-mengingati antara kawan-kawan seperjuangan.
Saling pesan-memesan, utk buat yg terbaik.
Dan bergantung harap, hanya padaNya.
For Allah is the best of plotters.
"Sesungguhnya, exam ni bkn nak uji berapa byk kte pny ilmu, berapa byk kte dah hafal. Tp nak uji sejauh mana kebergantungan kita padaNya" [Bella, Surau Delima 2, 2009] ♥
And note that, "tk semestinya, kalau dah habis study = boleh jawab dgn cemerlang,
Tk habis study = gagal". - ika, dlm tiggers ygroup as far as i remember, tp sentence reconstructed.
For when Allah kata kun, maka jadilah ia.
Berusaha jugak utk dkt dgn Dia.
Mohon dkt Dia.
Atas minda yg tahu.
Dan beriman dgn ya Samii'uddu'a, ya rahman, ya rahim.

Hujung study week, menghampiri exam week:
Alhamdulillah, rasa more confident nak seat for exam,
sbb dah dpt byk gak spot Qs,
and dah revise sedikit sebanyak.
Still remind diri sendiri, utk bergantung hanya padaNya.
Jgn sbb ilmu ni, jadi syirik.
For ilmu tu dtg dari Allah jugak.

Hari kejadian 1:
Minit pertama,
semak soalan exam cukup muka surat ke tk,
startled, sbb soalan spot tk berapa byk keluar.
And that's when you realised.
When you previously said, nak bergantung harap hanya padaNya,
did you really mean it?
Atau blame spot Qs yg tk keluar tu?
Atau blame yrself dan mengeluh, of all the drugs yg keluar, kenapa organophosphates?
You thot that organophosphates were that insignificant that you dint even flip thru the page at all masa study week. Hurm.
Teringat satu ayat.
Patutkah manusia menyangka bahawa mereka akan dibiarkan dengan hanya berkata: “Kami beriman”, sedang mereka tidak diuji (dengan sesuatu cubaan)?
Dan demi sesungguhnya! Kami telah menguji orang-orang yang terdahulu daripada mereka, maka (dengan ujian yang demikian), nyata apa yang diketahui Allah tentang orang-orang yang sebenar-benarnya beriman, dan nyata pula apa yang diketahuiNya tentang orang-orang yang berdusta.
[Al-Ankabut:2-3]
Benda nampak mcm remeh, tp senang je boleh buat kte syirik.
Tula yg selalu KakSyu pesan.
Tk kisah la soalan susah, lagging, blur, lost, mental block mcm mana pun
Hasbunallahu wa ni'mal wakeel!

10 minit sebelum tamat PBQ, 10 min lagi utk submit paper.
Hamdan lillah, Allah buka hijab, dan bagi ilham utk 'hentam' soalan tu.
Walaupun tinggal berapa minit je nak 'goreng'.
Tp tk kira la masa berapa byk.
Mcm main bola sepak gak. Satu min masa tambahan boleh mengubah keputusan.
'Qulnaa ya naaru kuuni bardau wa salaman 'ala ibrahim' - doa utk sejukkan hati pemeriksa supaya murah hati nak kasi marks regarless hasil gorengan tu mcm mana.
Verily, when He intends a thing, His Command is, "be", and it is! [36:82]

Hari kejadian 2:
Sgt nervous utk OSPE n OSCE. Sbb malam sebelumnya, tk larat dah nak stay up lama sgt sbb the previous malam sebelum SAQ n PBQ, dah tidur kul 4. Thus, OSCE pun tk practice sgt. And my answers for the spot Qs pun tk review sgt.
Tp ramai yg pesan, utk tenang. Byk betul tips.
Tp neway yg best psl OSPE ni, dpt tgk gelagat org lain.
Tee-hee. Ada yg mmg muka obvious sgt nervous, dan istighfar agak kuat that you could actually hear it even a few stations away. Tp bagus apa, encourage org lain utk istighfar gak.

OSCE was pretty good too. Dpt primer yg dah biasa, n lecturer yg sgt baikkk!
Walaupun masa masuk bilik tu, I just jumped in and started the conversation.
Rupa-rupanya belum start lagi! Kena tulis matrix num and read the question dulu.
And it took me half a minute to stop laughing kot.
Malu ohh. Ha ha.
I know some students who claimed they did it badly. That it came to a point sampai effects dkt the rest of the stations. Hue. Sbb dorg dpt lecturer yg errr, hurm.
I managed to come to the diagnosis. A good sign, perhaps?
Sbb Dr Ariza kata lecturer tkkan tny diagnosis unless the other aspects dah okay.
Biiznillah, semua okay, alhamdulillah, 'ala kulli haal.


Lagi satu yg best: Dkt rest station, sebelum masuk parasito pny part.
An unwelcomed (yeke unwelcomed?) voice entered yr head, saying "Don't look at me, don't nod. The first is vivex, second is trypanosome, next is malayi, hematobium, and Naja naja". I counted the parasito stations, and there was only 4. how cud it be 5 species? Ha ha. Tp alhamdulillah, dah baca gak apa yg keluar exam tu, and plus dgn clue dr lab assistant tu, lebih yakin nak jawab. Ngee. Sukaaa nya. Hamdan lillah.

My last station was a rest station. First time. Ha ha. Best. Sebelum keluar lab, ucap tenkiu dkt Haji, tp dia suruh senyap. Ha ha. Sorry la Haji, lupa nak cover.


Hari kejadian 3:
Jawab MCQ, mcm biasa, akan confused and mixed up everything. Biotransformation pun tk igt apa. "This has been repeated in the lecture so many times. And I'm not gonna tell you what it is". [Dr Renu Aragawal, Dewan Peperiksaan FKM, 2009]. Ha ha. (Rasanya org dkt keliling tu dengar kot. Agak malu ah).

Ada gak this person duduk dkt situ yg tanya dia. Tk dgr dia tny apa. Tp bila Dr Renu kata, "This is anatomy, which you've learnt it in yr First Year, how could you not know what 'proximal' is?" dan berlalu pergi, maka taulah apa yg ditanya td. Ho ho.

Selepas tk dpt bantuan Dr Renu, I decided to berijtihad that the statement is false. Sampai beberapa seconds (literally) sebelum kertas dipungut, I decided to erase it. Bila keluar hall, Qhas kata statement tu should be true. And truly, walaupun kalau tk erase pun, tolak 0.5 markah je, still, Allah ya rahman, I should be thankful for that, that He made me erase it anyway.

Tgh semak-semak jawapan, berangan sekejap. Dan tgk Prof Baha.

Maka I recited 'hasbunallahu wa ni'mal wakeel' abundantly, dgn harapan Prof Baha dtg. Heehe.

Parasito pny Qs confusing ohh. (Sebenarnya baca nota mcm flip thru je, ho ho).

Part Parasito:
Prof Baha yg subhanAllah, inspiring jiddan, yg selalu kaitkan apa yg diajar dgn apa yg Allah ajar dlm Quran, pasal significantnya insects, sampai byk surah ckp pasal serangga. mcm semut, lebah, spider. ada surah sendiriii. One of his quotes I always fave is
"You cannot know everything, only Allah is All-Knower". [Prof Baha, 2009, masa dia nak calm kan students yg risau pasal byknya med stuffs yg perlu dihafal].

So anyway, masa MCQ tu, dia dtg sebelah. Lama gak. I looked at him.
Yela, pandang muka guru kan boleh dpt pahala.
Kemudian.
Heehee.
He pointed his finger to a statement. Dan he draw an 'elf' on my paper. Heehee. I thot Schistosoma hematobium is a hermaphrodite sbb dua2 male and female dia bercantum kan? I was confused then. Tp thank you, Prof Baha, I changed the 'tee' on my answer sheet to an 'elf'.
Pastu, i pointed my finger to another statement. And hoping that he would tell me if my answer was correct or not.
and he smiled sweetly as always, and sed

"DON'T BE GREEDY!".

PS; Ameenkan his du'a! Pray that I won't be greedy dan redha walau apa the result is. Doakan whenever I say "alhamdulillah, 'ala kulli haal", I truly mean it. Sungguhlah, semuanya dah tertulis dari azali lagi. dari A-Z. in fact, my placement into the 7A Lab (which is the lab yg Haji invigilates dan dpt lecurer sweet utk OSCE), tu pun dari azali dah tertulis dkt Luh Mahfuz. And indeed, keputusan exam, yg ghaib tu, juga, dah Dia tetapkan. Ya Allah, sempurnakan 'afiatMu atas ku. Pray supaya saya tsabbit. Mari doa andai di waktu exam ni, kte byk sujud padaNya, maka pohonlah supaya sentiasa tetap dkt padaNya, walau di luar musim exam.

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PPS; faiza faraghta fansob!

Nah hadiah: Insha Allah - Maher Zain

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